Apartment hunting fail

If I have been so busy is because I have been apartment hunting like crazy. And it is the worst thing ever! I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy. It's not like in the village, where you can just come to the village and take down numbers outside the houses. No, this is lot different. They are scattered all over the place and you have to travel a lot to see these apartments. Some you might like, some you might think "who the hell is going to rent this apartment?" And there are so many things to consider because I am being bit picky about apartments. They have to be/have:
- fully furnished with bed, mattress, table, chairs, fridge, stove, microwave, tv, etc.
- have my own washroom
- include all utilities: hydro, electricity, heat, internet
- parking spot
- close to subway or bus stop
- close to grocery stores, pharmacy, TD Bank
- look very neat and clean
- a nice family living upstairs (if it's a basement)

On top of that, I must read the contract carefully and ask my uncle to take a look at it before I signed it. So this is what happened to me this weekend. I sent it to my uncle and my cousin's husband. They read it, they tried to reach me but I couldnt hear my cellphone because I was at the Exhibition and it was really loud. I don't have caller ID. I was wearing a dress with no pockets. I spent a lot of time on subway. Plus I had to deal with emotional issues. I know, it is a priority to deal with the apartment thing before having fun out. That's my fault.

But it's not like I have done apartment searching on my own before. I don't know what I'm doing. Nobody teaches me about these kind of stuff.

I honestly just wanna pay someone to do it for me. Because this is clearly not working for me. Halp :(