Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
- Robert Kennedy

I'm sorry July, you don't seem like a very inspiring month for me, especially cuz I'm still struggling to find a job.

I have gone through few interviews, but for some reason I don't hear from them after that. Most of the time I feel confident about the interviews and I wear my best smile and be as polite as I can. Yet, it seems that they probably go to a more qualified candidate.

That's what I hate the most. I feel like I can do things really well. I feel like I am perfectly qualified for a job. I thought I was delightful during interviews. Then what happens? There is ALWAYS someone better than me. Probably more qualified than I am. Are they overqualified? Maybe, these days overqualified people do underqualified jobs. That is why people like me don't get those jobs. I feel like I am always second best. That's is my problem.

Job searching is not the only instance where I feel like second best. Here are some past examples.

In grade 12, in high school. Few people (like about 10) from my generation were chosen to be mentors. Mentors have the role to be a role model to lower high school levels, like grade 6 - 9. They will be like teacher assistants, help kids with their homework, be there for them when they need help or advice. Of course, I wasn't chosen to be a mentor because I was not in the top 10 when it comes to school grades. However, during the year, I have connected with kids in grade 6 and 7. Lots of kids seem to be great friends with me, and I am always for them, I say hello to them everyday, and they come running to talk to me. I felt like a great role model even though it was not my duty to. In the end of the school year, the director of high school told me that he should have chosen me as a mentor in the first place since I was doing the job when I wasn't even supposed to and probably I got more connected to kids than a few mentors did. I was like great, NOW you're telling me this! When school has finished and I'm off to university the next year.

Examle number 2. In grade 8, in my music class, a few students were selected from the choir to record a music CD for the school. The teacher chose about 7. I was not one of them. Almost at the end of school year, our whole music class had to go to church to sing in a choir. My teacher was standing next to me. At the end of mass, my teacher told me that I had a great voice and that she should have chosen me to be part of the CD recording. But it was too late because that was the end of the year and I would transfer to another school the next year.

The same thing I think happened when I worked at a shopping center. When I applied for the customer service job, I didn't hear from them for about 3 weeks. Thought I didn't get the chance. Then they called me saying that they wanted to hire me. When I first started to work there I realize I was like a second batch of people they hired, because some of the people he initially hired were not working as hard and they constantly missed their shifts without notice. Since they hired me, I believe that they are very content of my hard work and dedication in the work place. I believe I was one of their favourites. I was the one they could count on and the most reliable. I can pretty much tell that they wished they had hired me in the first place. Fortunetly for them, it wasn't too late for them to hire me.

And that's how I feel about employers right now. I think they might be hiring the wrong people. Yes, they might seem to have more experience, or more qualifications than me. But there are only a very few people who have the determination, hard work, and care for the job well done like me. It is too bad that employers can't figure that out by looking at me because I am short. Or maybe they don't hire me because I am asian. Or both. Wish employers could hire people being objectively rather than subjectively. But there is nothing I can do about that.