You Sank My Friendship!

Friendship is a funny thing. At least for me.

Friendship for me is something that comes easily, but it also goes easily. It's not that hard to get a new pal. The hard part is to keep that pal around for longer.

Growing up, I always wanted to have friends that would come to my house all the time to hang out, or me going to their houses and hang out all the time. Kinda like That's 70's Show, where whole bunch of people just got together, hung out and talked about stuff. I did have childhood friends. My dad would take me to Jason*'s house on Monday, Phil*'s house on Tuesday, Janice*'s house on Wednesday, etc. That was every week, until all of a sudden I just stopped hanging out with them. Life happened. I don't speak or see those childhood friends anymore. Wonder where they are now.

Friendship is a funny thing, because you go from hanging out with someone all day all the time, to not speaking to each other at all after a while. I go on my Facebook and go through my first year pictures. I had sooo many friends! I was more of a social butterfly; I had different groups of people I hung out with. And now that I look back at those pictures I think to myself, "who are they?". I mean, I know who they are cuz I used to see them all the time at school, but to me, they are people who you would pass by today and they won't even say hi to you. How did this happen?

It was easier when I lived in residence in my first three years of university because you basically go to a different floor or walk a few steps to chat with a friend. But now that I have graduated, people pursue different paths in life. Just like when I graduated from high school, everyone wanted to do something different. Friends moved away, friends who got jobs, friends who wanted to continue their education.... It's like people are too busy to maintain friendships now. I don't like how everything is robotized now - go to school, learn, come home, homework, sleep, repeat; or go to work, get home, dinner, sleep, repeat. I feel like people are so busy that they don't try hard to maintain friendships anymore. Everyday is an excuse not to see a long-time friend. "Oh, sorry, can't meet up with you next week. I have a big project to do." How hard is it to give up half an hour of the day to char with friends and have a good time?

Since last two summers a friend of mine has been wanting to have a get together with our group of people. Dates kept being postponed and plans kept changing because everyone was too busy. In January I thought for a while that the get-together was actually going to happen. But people are just too busy with their lives to dedicate a few mins for planning a group date. Are people that lazy now? Do people not care about friendship anymore?

I have had several best friends in my life. It goes from building a strong relationship to the friendship being destroyed and stepped on by life. It's so unfortunate because you invest so much of your time and your life secrets in these people, and all of a sudden, they disappear from your life. Kinda unfair if you asked me.

But I guess people change. Life happens. After all, the best you can do is to enjoy the moment because it won't last. All you are left with are just memories and they make you who you are. Sure, you have lost old friends, but there are many friends to be made and new great memories to be created in the future.

Job matchmaking

The more I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker, the more I realize that looking for jobs is like dating. Both job hunting and finding a soulmate is about finding the perfect fit, the person with the whole package. But most importantly it's about personality and chemistry.

The Millionaire Matchmaker has become a guilty pleasure for me to watch. I like Patti Stanger's energy and honesty (however, I wouldn't like her honesty if I were one of the girls in the pre-screening). Patti and her team of matchmakers, match millionaires with smart and good looking non-millionaires. Most part of the show is about being presentable to the other person and become a good date, with the hopes that two people have found the right one.

In almost every episode, both the millionaires and the non-millionaires, ask each other questions like: What kind of girl/guy are you looking for? How do you see yourself in 10 years? Do you want a family? What are your hobbies? What do you do for living? What happened in your previous relationship?

And you see, those are, believe it or not, similar questions asked in an interview: What kind of employee are you looking for? How do you see yourself in 10 years? Do you want to commit with this company? What are your interests in this job? What experiences do you have? What happened in your previous job?

These are the questions that are meant to get to know each other (as a couple or as employer-employee). Both the employer and the millionaires ask questions in order to find if the other person is the right fit for them. Do they have the characteristics you are looking for? Looks, experience, knowledge, personality, chemistry?

Employers, besides experience, are looking for the personality and fit for the company. For example, if you apply for a company where the culture is all corporate and professional, and you tend to dress eccentric, covered in tattoos, have your hair dyed pink, have numerous piercings, then chances are that you don't fit in the company and hence they will not hire you. BUT, if you apply for a job at like Hot Topics, HMV, West 49, then you completely fit the company's image. However, if the company has a chill and casual atmosphere, and you are the chill and nice looking person, your changes of getting a job are higher, because you can blend in with other employers at the company.

Personality is important. You don't wanna date a guy or girl who is boring, dull, stressed, cocky on your first date. Just how employers don't want to hire a person who is boring, dull, stressed, and cocky in the first interview. Kind of personalities that both people and employers look for: courteous, sense of humor, friendly, open minded, outgoing, independent, ambitious, and smart. If you put these characteristics out in your first interview, then you nailed 60% of the interview. The other 40% is the experience.

Few months ago I applied to this job. Few weeks ago, I learned that someone else got the job. Yesterday, I learned that she has my same name. I thought that I had nothing to lose to ask someone who got the job I applied to how did she succeed in getting the job. She told me that she was actually surprised she got the job because she knows there are people with more experience and didn't even get the job. She also said that you have to know what the employer is looking for. She's got a similar experience in her last job, she was available to start immediately, and she looks like she fits in with the other people working there.

So next time I get an interview, I will know how to deal with it. The things I think I lack is the experience department. For me, it always comes down to the "No experience, no job / No job, no experience" dilemma. I also sometimes think that I have got the personality, but my nerves get the best of me sometimes and I am unable to channel my personality to the interviewer. I need to make my personality shine! I wanna be like Zooey Deschanel. You look at her and you wanna be friends with her instantly. I want to interviewers look at me and say "You're Hired!"

Out with 2011, In with 2012

Well Hello Hello Hello

In the third week of the first month of 2012, I am writing my first blog of the year. Why? Let's say I have been here and there and trying to figure myself out.

Now, I can't start a new year blog without posting my resolutions. Except that I consider now resolutions are overrated, however, looking at them, gives me something to think about and look back next year. Let's go over my list of resolutions, shall we?

1. Stop going to bed at 4am and getting up at 1pm. No matter how nocturnal of a person I am, I need to get used to going to bed early and waking up early because when I get a job, I might need to wake up early EVERYDAY (my heart just sank as I wrote that word)

2. Get a job. That is my main priority this year. I need to try harder to get a job. Send like at least 5 applications per week. Need to get my ass in gear and stop making excuses. Need to find a full-time job. I have no time for part-time or internships (although they could be very helpful).

3. Save money to go to Disneyland!!! Last time I went to Disneyland was when I was in like grade 4. I am a grown woman now and I am sure I will enjoy Disney more than I did before. You have No idea how BADLY I wanna go to Disney. Go on rides, meet Disney Characters, etc. Note to self: need to get an American Visiting Visa first.

4. Say YES more. I realized that I am letting life experiences slip through my fingers because I can always come up with an excuse for not going somewhere or not doing something. Next time a friend invites me somewhere, I gotta say yes - unless the event I am invited for is gonna suck for sure or I physically can't attend.   Life is too short, gotta learn more from my experiences. I'll be the next YES MAN...except that I am a woman.

5. Ironically, my 5th resolution is to safe money. It's ironic because there is not much you can do outside without spending a dime. I'm running low in coloured-bills supply and so are my parents. So it's time to get a gig and pay for the phone bill myself.

6. Talk to my parents more. They are getting old and it's been a while since I have been with them physically. They complaint that I don't spend enough time talking to them because I am too busy dating. It's true. Mom's got a point. But sometimes it's hard to talk to her when she gives me 40 min long speeches and doesn't even realize I am away from my computer. I have tested that theory. However, I don't mind listening for hours to her stories when she was younger and how she escaped from China to live in Costa Rica. Or how my dad swam with jellyfish.

7. Start a writing project. Like a play, or screenplay, a bio or something. Need to get my name out there somehow. I wanna be famous, like everybody. I can also practice on my writing.

8. Suck it up and take the garbage out.

9. I should try to stay active. My goal will be losing 30 lbs. But this winter seems kinda....challenging. It doesn't help that me and Jacob collect and eat candies as a hobby.

10. On that note, cutting on the sweets

11. Say hi to friends every now and then. It gets lonely without them.

12. Stop watching The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, The Bachelor Pad. I need to feed on drama somewhere else, but not from my life.

13. Quit playing Sims World, Farmville, and games like that cuz they do me no good. Unless I wanna become a farmer, which is not the case.

14. Explore the world. There are so many things I need to experience and a whole bucket list I need to check off. Gotta do them while I'm young. Need to explore my hidden talents, hidden interests, hidden career preference, hidden ambition, etc.

15. Find a hairstyle I can finally love. People who are non-asians come to me all the time saying things like "your hair is so nice, it's so smooth and straight. you can do anything with your hair!" Umm...you really CAN'T DO ANYTHING with this hair. It's so straight and thick that no matter how you style it, it always comes down. My hair is so dull and boring. Needs some partying going in every strand of hair.

These are my resolutions. Will I achieve all of them? Probably not. Resolutions are not meant to last all year long. If you don't believe me, ask people who get gym membership at the beginning of January.