From a baby to a lady

Today is mothers' day in Canada. Even though Mother's Day is not until August in Costa Rica, i was not safe from thinking about my mother.

You see, both my dad and my mom struggled a lot, practically since I was born, in order to save enough money for me and my sister to have a good education. Today, both my sister and I are receiving good Canadian education at University of Toronto and York, very well known universities. My mom taught me how to speak, write, walk, cook, clean, and how to face the world. She is always protecting me against everything bad out there in the world. "Don't go out at night", "don't do drugs", "don't have sex and then get pregnant", "don't eat food that contains lots of fat", "don't go to parties, guys might drug you", "don't buy what you don't need", "don't spend money in garbage", don't do this, don't do that..... When I was in my teenage, I never listened to her. I took everything she said as quaaaaackquackquackquack. But today, sometimes I think for myself, I should have listened to my mom. Not that any of those bad things have happened to me, just most of the times, moms are always right. They know what they are saying. They have mother intuition after all.

Growing up with a mom like mine wasn't easy. She is very conservative and strict. Most of the times she doesn't understand what makes me happy and what i want. And when I voice myself over her, she would hit me with a feather duster, umbrella, chop stick, chancleta, ruler....you name it. She always chose my safety over my happiness, so, for example, she wouldn't let me go to a concert, or have guys friends. She was very restrictive, always telling me "don't...". For her, I should go to school, come home do my homework, sleep, repeat. I have no time for socializing, which I considered to be so important. Everything else was a waste of time and money. Therefore, I had from zero to almost none social life. But all she did was to protect me from anything bad that could happen to me.

Yesterday I was talking to Jacob's mom. She was asking me about how I learned to cook. I told her that I learned from my mom, who always makes Chinese food at home. When I was younger I didn't appreciated her cooking or her willing to teach me how to cook. I always said to her, "I don't care. When I am older I will hire a maid to cook for me". Couple years later, when I started University, and living away from home, and eating fast food practically every single day, I never missed mom's home-cooking so much. Ever. And I wished I had learned more how to cook from my mom. Just before I came to university, I rushed my mom to teach me how to cook, so I learned a couple dishes.

It is true when parents say "Trust me, it's for your own good. When you grow older you will understand". Because I never appreciated things they did for me when I was younger, I realize, as I grow old, how everything they say to me is true. Everything my mom warned me about. Everything my mom said. All the (plus extra) protection she gave me. All she did, because she was my mom. She said, "there is no one in the world who is going to love you as much as your parents".

Also, as I grow older, I start to hear about other people's mothers. I am still jealous of friends who have mothers who are their best friends, because me and my mom don't communicate as well. I don't feel like I can tell her anything because she is just going to bash at me of what I did wrong, what I shouldn't have done, what I should have done, etc. No news for me. I even felt jealous of mothers who go to their children's graduation. Their moms taking them everywhere. Their moms having meetings with other moms, because my mother was, I guess, an outcast and anti-social, she never got well with non-chinese moms. I was also telling Jacob how I used to get all embarassed because my mom came out of the house with an umbrella when the school bus drops me and my sister off in front of the house. Others would make fun of me, but in reality, they wished their moms did that because they are busy doing something else. Yes, there are awesome moms out there, like Jocelyn's mom who is Jocelyn's best friend, she is very funny, helpful, trusting, etc. However, there are also bad moms. Bad moms who abandon their children. Bad moms who don't care what their kids do. Bad moms who forget their children's birthday. Bad moms who are always too busy at work to care for their kids. Bad moms who beat the hell out their kids for nothing. Bad moms who do drugs and get drunk. So many bad moms out there, that when i compare my mom to those, my mom makes the perfect mother.

Today, I still can't tell my mom everything I tell to my friends. Her and I still have a lot of differences. Yet, sometimes I tell her stuff I usually don't tell her. Like having fights with a friend, and that I have a boyfriend. My sister is still weirded out why I tell stuff like that to my mom. I guess it will take her a little bit more of time to understand. Ever since I came to canada I feel like I have become more mature, more understanding about my parents' intentions.

I don't thank my mom enough for what she gave me. In my life, there were two people who were always there to make sure I had enough food, enough money, warm enough, safe enough, healthy enough. Those two people I call them Mami and Papi. They did an amazing job raising this baby into a lady today. They don't get this a lot, but Thank you Mami and Papi. I love you.


Mom, dad, me, my younger sister Sonia